Come Follow Me & Family History: 1 Samuel 8-10; 13; 15-16

"But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."    (1 Samuel 16:7)

I learned the truth of this principle while working at an after-school program.

Each afternoon, children from the local elementary school would come to our program while their parents finished work. Together we completed homework, made crafts, played outside, and on Fridays we watched movies and ate popcorn.

Before the start of a new school year, my boss informed me that I would be assigned to Juniper Elementary. This school had a reputation because of one particular student who was constantly getting into trouble. My coworkers hated working there, but my boss assured me that if we documented every infraction and followed the proper procedures, we would eventually be able to remove him from the program.

So that is exactly what I did.

Every day I wrote him up, called my boss, and then called his mother to come pick him up. One afternoon, his mother arrived looking completely exhausted. As we talked, she shared how difficult it was for her to leave work every time she received one of my phone calls. She pleaded with me to help her find a way for her son to remain in the program.

My heart softened.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I knew exactly what to do. I would pray that the Lord would change this boy's behavior so he could stay in the program. So I prayed. His behavior didn't change. I prayed again. Still nothing changed.

One Sunday, while sitting in sacrament meeting, a thought came clearly into my mind:

"Stop praying for him to change and start praying for you to change."

I was shocked. I didn't think I needed changing. But I decided to pray anyway. I asked Heavenly Father to help me know how to help this boy.

The next afternoon, I stood in my usual spot waiting for the children to arrive. Soon I saw him bouncing toward me, happy as ever. In that moment, I didn't see what everyone else saw. I didn't see a troublemaker.

I saw a child of God.

Then another thought came to my mind:

"He needs to be needed."

As he ran up and gave me a big hug, I asked him if he would be my helper. His face lit up. "Yes!" he replied. From that day forward, he helped check in students, pass out snacks, and watch over the younger children on the playground. He took his responsibilities seriously. And from that day on, I never had another discipline problem with him.

This wasn't because I suddenly became a great leader. It was because the Lord changed my heart.

Like Samuel, I had been looking at outward appearances. The Lord helped me look deeper and see a child who needed love, purpose, and belonging.

Family history teaches us to do something very similar. When we first encounter an ancestor, we often see only the outward details of their life. A census record tells us where they lived. A birth certificate tells us when they were born. A marriage record tells us whom they married. A death certificate tells us when their life ended.

But those records rarely tell us who they were.

They do not tell us about the mother who worried about her children, the father who worked long hours to provide for his family, or the young woman who left everything familiar behind in search of a better life. They do not tell us about prayers offered in faith, tears shed in private, or the courage it took to keep moving forward through difficult circumstances.

Just as Samuel had to learn to look beyond outward appearances, family historians learn to look beyond names, dates, and records. We begin asking questions. What kind of person was this? What challenges did they face? What choices did they make? What can I learn from their story?

Sometimes we have journals, letters, and family stories that help answer those questions. More often, we have only a handful of records. Yet even those records can reveal glimpses of a person's heart if we take the time to look closely.

This idea reminds me of the children's book My Grandfather's Coat by Jim Aylesworth. Throughout the story, a well-loved coat is transformed into a jacket, then a vest, a tie, a handkerchief, and finally a button. The coat becomes smaller with each transformation, but the story becomes richer. The value was never really in the coat itself. The value was in the grandfather who wore it and the memories connected to it.

Family history is much the same. The records are important, but they are not the treasure. The treasure is the person behind the record.

I once gave a talk in church where I shared the story of my granddad. His life was not easy. His mother died when he was young. He lost a brother during World War II and a sister just a few years later. Later in life, he developed crippling arthritis that left him in constant pain.

If you had passed him on the street, you likely would not have given him a second thought. He wasn't famous. He wasn't wealthy. He wasn't a cultural hero. He was simply my granddad.

But the Lord knew his heart.

I remember his kindness, his humor, and the love he showed his family. To the world, he may have seemed ordinary, but to me he was extraordinary. I treasure the memories I have of him and share his stories with my children whenever I can.

That is what family history helps us do. It helps us look beyond outward appearances and discover the hearts of the people who came before us. It reminds us that our ancestors were more than names on a pedigree chart, lines on a census record, or dates carved into a headstone. They were sons and daughters of God with hopes, fears, struggles, faith, and stories worth remembering.

When we learn to look beyond the outward facts and seek to understand the heart, we begin to see our ancestors a little more the way the Lord sees them.

ACTIVITY:

Choose an object that belongs to a parent, grandparent, or other family member. Draw the object on your paper and write the story behind it. 

Ask questions such as:

• Who does this belong to?
• Why is it important?
• What memories are connected to it?
• What does it teach us about the person who owned it?
• What qualities did this person have?

If possible, ask a grandparent or older family member to share the story of an object that has been passed down or has special meaning.

to download the activity page simply click here or on the image below

images of the woman taken in adultery and Samuel being presented to Eli are from churchofjesuschrist.org