Children's Books and Family History: The People Who Don't Appear on our Pedigree Charts

When we think of family history, we often think of ancestors, pedigree charts, and generations connected by blood. Yet some of the people who have the greatest impact on our lives are not related to us at all. They are the friends who stood by us, the neighbors who welcomed us, the teachers who believed in us, and the mentors who helped us become who we are. Though they may never appear on our family tree, they are an important part of our story.

Swashby and the Sea is a gentle reminder that unexpected friendships can change our lives. Through kindness, companionship, and connection, people who begin as strangers can become family in all the ways that matter most.

In Swashby and the Sea, Swashby enjoys a quiet and predictable life by the sea. He prefers solitude and is content spending his days alone. Everything changes when a young girl named Rose and her grandmother move in next door. Despite Swashby's attempts to keep his distance, Rose's kindness, persistence, and joyful spirit slowly break down his walls. What begins as an unlikely friendship grows into a relationship that enriches both of their lives.

I chose to spotlight this book because it reminds us that our stories are shaped by more than just our relatives. Family history often focuses on the people who appear on our pedigree charts, but many of us can trace important moments in our lives back to someone who was not related to us at all. A friend who stood beside us during a difficult season. A teacher who saw potential in us. A neighbor who became like family. A mentor who offered guidance when we needed it most.

These relationships may not be recorded in a family tree, but they are woven into the story of who we are. They influence our choices, shape our character, and often leave a legacy that extends far beyond their time in our lives. Just as Rose changed Swashby's story, there are people whose kindness and friendship have changed ours.

As family historians and storytellers, it is worth remembering that preserving our story means preserving these relationships too. Future generations deserve to know not only who we were related to, but also who helped us become the people we are today.

I don't remember a time before our friend Richard entered our lives. Every Sunday after church, he would join us for our traditional Sunday roast. He taught us how to fold a tea towel into a chicken, told the same joke about a green and yellow ping pong ball, and let us change the gears in his black-and-orange Datsun. 

Moving to California meant saying goodbye. Thankfully, he has remained an important part of our story. He has attended each of our weddings and even traveled to California for my Nan's funeral when she passed away while visiting for Christmas. During such a heartbreaking time, he provided much-needed comic relief and reminded us of the joy he has always brought into our lives.

Today, my children know and love Richard too. Although he doesn't appear on my pedigree chart, he is part of my family. His influence, friendship, and presence have shaped our story for generations, proving that some of the most important people in our lives are not connected by blood, but by love.

"After that, it was easy for Swashby to have tea with the girl and her granny - 

It was easy for him to share his special sea glass. It was even easy for him to see that neighbors could be fun, and friends, and.... family."

Family is not always defined by blood or recorded on a family tree. Sometimes it is found in the neighbors who become lifelong friends, the mentors who guide us, and the people who choose to walk beside us through life's joys and sorrows.

ACTIVITY:

Think about someone who has had a positive influence on your life but is not related to you. 

Write their name and answer the following questions:

How did you meet them?

What is your Favorite memory with them?

What qualities do you admire about them?

How did they influence your life?

What would you want future generations to know about them?

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