Children's Books and Family History: All the Blues in the Sky & Puggleton Park

On Sage's thirteenth birthday, her best friend is struck and killed by a drunk driver while walking to Sage's house. In an instant, Sage's world is forever changed. Alongside her grief, she carries an overwhelming sense of guilt, wondering if things might have been different had she not insisted her best friend spend the entire day with her.

All the Blues in the Sky is not a story about getting over loss. Instead, it is a story about learning to move forward with grief. It explores the reality that loss does not simply disappear with time. Rather, grief becomes a companion that can show up unexpectedly—in a memory, a place, a song, or an ordinary moment—and must be carried alongside the joys and challenges of everyday life.

One of my favorite moments in the book occurs when Sage tells her aunt that she misses her best friend all the time. Her aunt's response is both beautiful and honest: 

"You always will... You will miss her everyday of your life. Sometimes, the memories will bring tears, sometimes a smile. The memories won't always overwhelm you, they will bring comfort too... But isn't that a beautiful thing? To have experienced the kind of love that never truly leaves, that only grows and grows." 

As I read those words, I found myself thinking about my great-grandmother Elva. While the circumstances were different, she too experienced profound loss and had to learn what it meant to carry grief forward. Within a short span of time, she faced heartbreak that would change the course of her life forever.

At sixteen years old, Elva experienced her first profound loss. Her father was serving jury duty at the courthouse when he opened a door he believed led outside. Instead, it opened to a concrete staircase leading to the basement. He fell down the stairs and suffered a severe brain injury. A few days later, while being transported to Salt Lake City for medical care, he passed away.

If that wasn't enough heartbreak to carry, just a year later Elva fell in love and married. Four months into their marriage, her husband contracted pneumonia and died. At only eighteen years old, Elva found herself widowed, pregnant, and grieving yet another devastating loss.

I cannot imagine the weight of that sorrow in such a short span of time. Yet, as All the Blues in the Sky reminds us, grief is not the end of the story. Elva's story did not end with loss. Four years later, she married my great-grandfather, and together they raised five children in sunny Southern California.

The grief she carried never erased the love she had for her father or first husband, but it did not prevent her from continuing to build a meaningful life. In many ways, Elva chose to move forward while carrying her grief with her. She became deeply involved in family history, discovering, preserving, and sharing the stories of her ancestors with her children and grandchildren. Because she took the time to record those stories, I have the privilege of knowing not only who she was, but also the people she loved and the losses she endured.

One of the reasons I appreciate books like All the Blues in the Sky is that they give children permission to experience the complicated emotions that often accompany grief. While we frequently think of grief as sadness, it can also bring guilt, anger, resentment, confusion, and regret. Sage experiences many of these emotions throughout the novel. In particular, she struggles with the fact that she never had the chance to say goodbye to her best friend. As she participates in a grief support group, she finds herself resenting those who were able to speak final words to a grandparent, and a sibling before they passed away. Her best friend was simply gone in an instant.

That feeling reminded me of a conversation in Puggleton Park by Deanna Kizis. Lady Diggleton reflects on the loss of her husband and admits that part of what made the grief so difficult was not having the opportunity to say goodbye. While comforting Penelope the Pug, she says:

"I have also felt grief and loss and it stung all the more because I could not say a final goodbye to my dear husband. One moment he was getting into a carriage, and then he was gone. I felt ever so much sorrow. But life goes on in the most difficult of times, just as it does in the most wonderful."

While every experience with grief is unique, both stories acknowledge a truth many people carry: sometimes we grieve not only the person we lost, but also the conversations we never had, the questions we never asked, and the goodbyes we never got to say.

For children who have experienced loss—or who may experience it in the future—books like these can be a gentle reminder that there is no single "right" way to grieve. The emotions that accompany loss are often messy and complicated. Seeing those feelings reflected in a story can help children realize they are not alone.

Family history reminds us that grief is not unique to our generation. As we research our ancestors, we often encounter death certificates, obituaries, cemetery records, and newspaper notices. These records tell us when a person died, but they rarely tell us what happened afterward. They do not tell us about the daughter who missed her father, the wife who lost her husband, or the child who wished for one more conversation.

When we take the time to learn our ancestors' stories, we begin to see them as real people who experienced the same emotions we do today. They loved deeply, grieved deeply, and somehow found the strength to keep moving forward. Understanding their experiences can help us develop greater compassion for our own struggles and remind us that resilience is often born from hardship.

Perhaps that is one of the greatest gifts of family history. It allows us to see that while grief may be part of every family's story, so is hope. Generation after generation, our ancestors carried their losses, continued forward, and added new chapters to the story. Because they did, we are here today.

ACTIVITY: ONE MORE STORY

Sage wishes she had one more chance to talk with her best friend. This activity encourages us to treasure the stories and memories we can still gather today.

Choose a family member—living or deceased—and complete the worksheet below.

to download/print the activity simply click here or on the image below